I am feeling a little frumpy because I am turning forty tomorrow. That and summer is ending – you know, good-bye good-times; out with the fun, in with the homework. I tried to cheer myself up by checking out my social media, but today’s topics were a turn off. My fussiness won’t last long, but I thought I would take advantage of my gloomy attitude and share a Jules Rules List of 40 Things to Never Tweet About. Have some to add? I would love to know what not to tweet.



  1. Gross Toes
  2. Snot
  3. Hair in drains
  4. Hair anywhere but on your head
  5. Dirty Diapers
  6. Cracked Skin
  7. Your boss
  8. Your boobs
  9. Your butt
  10. Your bra
  11. Your Mother-in-Law
  12. Your Mistress
  13. How much you drank
  14. How much someone else drank
  15. How much you ate
  16. How much you puked
  17. Your pet’s poopies
  18. Your kid’s poopies
  19. Your spouse’s poopies
  20. Nightmares
  21. One-night stands
  22. What’s in your night stand
  23. People you can’t stand
  24. Your privates
  25. Someone else’s privates
  26. Your criminal activity
  27. Your unethical activity
  28. Your sexual activity
  29. Your gastric activity
  30. People you want to kill
  31. People you have killed
  32. Your job interview details
  33. Your job review details
  34. Your salary details
  35. Gross food issues
  36. Anything dealing with pigs in a blanket
  37. That you just crashed your car
  38. That you really can drive with your knees
  39. Your failed diets
  40. Your failed marriages
  41. Your fears of aging

5 thoughts on “40 Things to Never Tweet About

    1. Thank you, kind sir. My grandmothers passed on some great genes. One of my favorite stories is the time I was accused of having a fake ID while ordering a drink at dinner with my four children. That young whippersnapper got the talking-to off his life, but later, I was flattered. And I selected this picture for all of my online profiles because my teenage daughter took it on our vacation and it actually looks exactly like me. When you come to Boise, you’ll be able to pick me out in the crowd. Thanks again, Ari.
      ~ Jules

      1. I’ve never been to Boise. Closest was Broadus, Montana; where there is a delicious restaurant based in a former Judge’s home, called the Judge’s Chambers Restaurant.

        At least… it was delicious when I ate there in 2001. It might be bad now.

  1. Hey Jules, I see Ari already beat me to the obvious comment. 🙂 Good and interesting list. It is amazing with all those things you don’t tweet about you still manage to be very interesting and entertaining. Happy birthday and welcome to the 40s some of us have been here a long time waiting for you.

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